Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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