he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
