Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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