just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
