help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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