I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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