So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
