Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
