I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
