I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
