My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
