There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
