Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
