So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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