I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
