NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
