He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
