I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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