she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
