break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
