he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
