The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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