just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
