I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
