Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
someone owes me an orgasm
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I think people are normalizing furries
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
