Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he was CRYING into my vagina
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
