I cannot find my penis.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
