By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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