I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
