Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize
