he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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