It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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