Fuck appropriateness.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
