32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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