Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
