So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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