She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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