My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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