Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
