dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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