but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Randomize