Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize