Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
