Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
