This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize