so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
