Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
