She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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