dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
