i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
