Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
