i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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