I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
