...so i touched it.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
