did you get engaged???
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
