You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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