I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
