Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
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