The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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