I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize