Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
