i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
