I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
