Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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