So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
