I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize