At least make sure they are 18
Why
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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