So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
