You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
