I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize