It's a beautiful day for a hangover
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The power of my boobs compel you
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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