1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
